When my daughter destroyed something precious to me, I was devastated... until it led me to a ritual that healed my heart. Here are a few ideas for creating your own natural rituals.
This a powerful post Allysha! These times of grief we don't know we need. These times of healing ritual that we long for but don't exist in our current culture. These times of recognition that we are called to and don't know why. These times of surrender that show us the way home. Thank you for sharing this intimate window into your heart and motherhood. I felt you all the way through. From the despair to the grief, from the anger to the forgiveness... Beautiful!
Ohhh and love Mary Oliver, always wonderful to reread her again and again.
Thank you for sharing this story, Allysha! I’ve been catching myself in a pattern of needing to control things when it comes to my kids, but after reading this I’m starting to wonder how much of it is induced by grief and clinging to the past.
It’s so easy to do when we remember everything that came before in a way they don’t. I’ve notice a ton of grief building up in me about everything we lose as these difficult and beautiful days tick by. Blessings to you in finding a way to give space to yours. 💜
This was so beautiful and resonated on another level, thank you for sharing. Though my Mom died when I was just 11, myaternal grandmother's sugar bowls have always reminded me of her being right there in the dining room. I can't possibly imagine them gone and I'd react just the same. I'm so glad you were able to process it in the way that you did. From one sentimental soul to another.❤️
That’s beautiful, Paulina. It’s a funny thing being sentimental—simultaneously beautiful and terrifying. There’s something so brave and dangerous about attaching significance to the transient things of this world. But I think that’s part of being alive on Planet Earth.
Everything must one day pass away. Will we choose to love the things of this Earth in the meantime? It sounds like you stand with me in a resounding YES!
Allysha- A closet renovation is no small feat. With a toddler in tow, no less. You should be proud of yourself. Few can achieve this without unraveling into a bundle of chaos (I know I couldn't myself, I tried). Hope the closet remains somewhat manageable as of later? Cheers, -Thalia
Thanks for the support, Thalia! It’s certainly been a challenging season with the closet renos on top of everything else, but the end is in sight! Just a few paint touch ups to go…
This brought healing tears to my heart. I'm a mother of two girls who are older children now - one a teenager. It's so true that it is important to acknowledge the phases and initiations as both we, as mothers, and they, as children, move through life. I'm so glad you heard the message from your soul to mourn your little baby and to let the toddler she is now to destroy her baby self. That's true love and true healing. You've brought me healing with this share. Thank you. 💜💜💜
So glad to hear this touched you, Alysia. It’s amazing to me to hear other mothers sharing their experiences and struggles with the lack of ritual around our babies growing. Perhaps together we can begin to remind each other that it’s okay to grieve… to feel… and to find ways to honor the transitions of our lives.
This story touched parts and pieces of me that I've held buried deep within. Grief that had no words, anger that dared not show itself. As a mother of two adults, moments like the one you shared were often marked with shame as I did not understand the emotion behind my feelings. Thank you for putting this in the spotlight. Thank you for creating a portal to these pieces of myself that I can now hold with love and compassion. Thank you for showing a way forward so that I can hold myself and my children in a different light as we move through this adventure together.
Oh Penny, I’m so touched by this. Thank you for sharing. It’s wonderful to see the way that sharing our grief and healing experiences makes a difference for everyone around us. I’m feeling the ripples of this and wish every blessing for you and your children. 💜✨
This story is important because many of us mothers don’t think we can have this kind of grief, and often, our conscious mind isn’t aware that it exists. This story was a gentle reminder for me to allow the grief that arises with the tenderness of a child growing up. The synchronicities of this story are uncanny.
I think we mamas are going to have to remind each other that this is part of the process. In the weeks leading up to this, I remember feeling like I missed how things were before, but looking around and thinking "everybody's doing it, so it must be no big deal."
The reality is--our children growing up may be one of the biggest griefs (and joys) of our lives. And only we can gift ourselves the space to occupy that reality.
Thanks for being with me on the journey, Danielle.
This a powerful post Allysha! These times of grief we don't know we need. These times of healing ritual that we long for but don't exist in our current culture. These times of recognition that we are called to and don't know why. These times of surrender that show us the way home. Thank you for sharing this intimate window into your heart and motherhood. I felt you all the way through. From the despair to the grief, from the anger to the forgiveness... Beautiful!
Ohhh and love Mary Oliver, always wonderful to reread her again and again.
Thank you, Julie. I love putting these missing pieces back together with you and all the others here who are rekindling that ancient spark. 💜✨
Thank you for sharing this story, Allysha! I’ve been catching myself in a pattern of needing to control things when it comes to my kids, but after reading this I’m starting to wonder how much of it is induced by grief and clinging to the past.
It’s so easy to do when we remember everything that came before in a way they don’t. I’ve notice a ton of grief building up in me about everything we lose as these difficult and beautiful days tick by. Blessings to you in finding a way to give space to yours. 💜
This was so beautiful and resonated on another level, thank you for sharing. Though my Mom died when I was just 11, myaternal grandmother's sugar bowls have always reminded me of her being right there in the dining room. I can't possibly imagine them gone and I'd react just the same. I'm so glad you were able to process it in the way that you did. From one sentimental soul to another.❤️
That’s beautiful, Paulina. It’s a funny thing being sentimental—simultaneously beautiful and terrifying. There’s something so brave and dangerous about attaching significance to the transient things of this world. But I think that’s part of being alive on Planet Earth.
Everything must one day pass away. Will we choose to love the things of this Earth in the meantime? It sounds like you stand with me in a resounding YES!
Allysha- A closet renovation is no small feat. With a toddler in tow, no less. You should be proud of yourself. Few can achieve this without unraveling into a bundle of chaos (I know I couldn't myself, I tried). Hope the closet remains somewhat manageable as of later? Cheers, -Thalia
How did yours turn out in the end?
Thanks for the support, Thalia! It’s certainly been a challenging season with the closet renos on top of everything else, but the end is in sight! Just a few paint touch ups to go…
Exciting. I’m sure that the persistence will pay off. So long as we keep the kiddos at bay. 🤓
Persistence is the key to getting anything done with little ones!
This brought healing tears to my heart. I'm a mother of two girls who are older children now - one a teenager. It's so true that it is important to acknowledge the phases and initiations as both we, as mothers, and they, as children, move through life. I'm so glad you heard the message from your soul to mourn your little baby and to let the toddler she is now to destroy her baby self. That's true love and true healing. You've brought me healing with this share. Thank you. 💜💜💜
So glad to hear this touched you, Alysia. It’s amazing to me to hear other mothers sharing their experiences and struggles with the lack of ritual around our babies growing. Perhaps together we can begin to remind each other that it’s okay to grieve… to feel… and to find ways to honor the transitions of our lives.
Yes, such a beautiful support for one another.
This story touched parts and pieces of me that I've held buried deep within. Grief that had no words, anger that dared not show itself. As a mother of two adults, moments like the one you shared were often marked with shame as I did not understand the emotion behind my feelings. Thank you for putting this in the spotlight. Thank you for creating a portal to these pieces of myself that I can now hold with love and compassion. Thank you for showing a way forward so that I can hold myself and my children in a different light as we move through this adventure together.
Oh Penny, I’m so touched by this. Thank you for sharing. It’s wonderful to see the way that sharing our grief and healing experiences makes a difference for everyone around us. I’m feeling the ripples of this and wish every blessing for you and your children. 💜✨
This story is important because many of us mothers don’t think we can have this kind of grief, and often, our conscious mind isn’t aware that it exists. This story was a gentle reminder for me to allow the grief that arises with the tenderness of a child growing up. The synchronicities of this story are uncanny.
I think we mamas are going to have to remind each other that this is part of the process. In the weeks leading up to this, I remember feeling like I missed how things were before, but looking around and thinking "everybody's doing it, so it must be no big deal."
The reality is--our children growing up may be one of the biggest griefs (and joys) of our lives. And only we can gift ourselves the space to occupy that reality.
Thanks for being with me on the journey, Danielle.