The Root of Our Anxiety
Embracing the Primordial Reality of Being Alive
There was a storm last night. A howling, wind-whipped, huddle-up inside, primordial gale.
As I lay in the dark, listening to the trees losing their skins and the ice cracking against the siding, I was amazed.
Not just at the sheer force of Nature… but of how far humans have come in these short centuries.
It may seem trivial or unimpressive, over the course of thousands of years, to learn to build homes which will withstand the blows of the elements.
But it’s no mean feat!
It has changed our existence.
Now, instead of cowering away from Nature, afraid for my life… I can enjoy it, free of fear.
Strangely, this doesn’t seem to have rid us of fear as a species. If anything, it has made our fear more pervasive.
Instead of ridding ourselves of the sneaking suspicion that we might die at any moment…
So many of us experience daily anxiety, and a quiet feeling inside that something is deeply wrong.
Even knowing that the wind and trees could not rip through my bedroom walls, I felt the deep cry inside, wondering if perhaps I would die.
But perhaps part of us that NEEDS that. Is that deeply ingrained sense of danger necessary to our lives? Does it keep us on our toes? Does it cultivate gratitude for the days we are given? Does it help us feel our smallness and the great sense of wonder which naturally accompanies that awareness?
I don’t know all the answers, but I do know that there’s no escaping the fear.
Instead—what if we found a way to embrace it?
To return it to its natural state.
Sometimes I walk alone in the woods after dark. There are moments when—for no reason at all—a gruesome terror takes over my body. It takes everything I have not to turn on a light.
But when I don’t…
That fear quietly blossoms into strength.
The next day, I share a dark secret with the world.
I’m ready to face the small and silly pursuits of human life in our modern world. I have seen the teeth gnashing in the darkness and they did not devour me.
When’s the last time you went out into the darkness to sit with your fear?
Physically OR metaphorically.
Our attempted cure for anxiety is often to solve the situation… to REDUCE the fear… and it never really seems to make a difference.
What if we were born to experience the natural thrill of being alive in a world whose only escape is death?
How do we embrace the raw truth of our existence?
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Facing the Magic,
Allysha Lavino
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