Mama Got the Magic Wrong
Transitioning to a Big Girl Bed
My daughter recently switched from a crib to a “big girl bed”.
And the magic of it was ALL WRONG.
It just sort of … happened.
An adorable little toddler bed popped up free on a local group and we asked a friend to pick it up for us while we were out of town.
We asked a friend to pick it up for us, and he kindly made the arrangements.
But when we got home, we found it sitting in the middle of my husband Mark’s workshop, where it immediately began to get in the way.
Naturally, Mark began to ask, “When are going to transition our Isabelle out of her crib?”
“We need a little time to help her adjust to the idea,” I told him, and I immediately began talking to our little one about the change.
“You’re going to have a big girl bed,” I told her several times over the next few weeks, even taking her out to the shop to say hello to it.
What I neglected to mention (because it was so obvious to my adult brain) was that her beloved crib would disappear in the process!
Our baby’s crib was amazing—beautiful white sleigh back, the wood heavy and solid, imbued with love to the fiber of ever board.
Isabelle had been sleeping in it since she was two months old, at her own insistence (I wasn’t ready at the time!), and we’d all loved it ever since.
As a baby she’d always slept miraculously well, and as a new mom, I often felt like was cheating, getting 10-hour nights and waking refreshed and ready to snuggle.
Though we all loved her crib, at two years-old she started climbing out, and so—without putting much thought to it—a new bed seemed inevitable.
It felt to me like one of those “steady march of time” things that I always resist but haven’t much say in… like beloved clothes wearing out or seasons changing.
I didn’t see any way to hang onto the crib, so I let it go.
AND IT WAS A DISASTER!
Gone were the perfect nights where my happy baby put herself back to sleep.
Gone was the consistency we had built doing the same bedtime routine every night (regardless of where we were in the world).
Gone was the feeling of safety, security, and love that her crib had always been to us.
Those feelings had ALL WAYS been there. I thought they were inherent to our family and our baby.
But they were swept away when we sold the crib—
I knew it was TOO LATE the moment I got a text from the new owner, praising how beautiful and magical the crib was and how blessed she felt.
Oh no! What did I do?!
I was happy for that new mom… and we couldn’t have held onto that crib forever… but was it really the right time to let it go?
Why did it feel as if following the obvious progression of time was tearing something precious from us.
Now, I’ll admit… I’m sentimental.
Sometimes annoyingly so.
It would be nice to simply open a jar of jam without remembering exactly which French market we bought it at four years ago and what a lovely trip that was.
Or not to be plagued by that precious necklace that got stolen twenty years ago when I didn’t listen to my intuition and packed it for a weekend trip.
Even to say goodbye to a friend without drawing it out to the sixth hug would probably be relaxing.
There’s a simplicity in a lack of sentiment.
But sitting on the floor of my daughter’s room at 3am as she struggled to sleep…
I realized WHY I’m so “sentimental”—
Those details… and the time it takes to transition from one thing to the next… are exactly what it takes for me to get the magic correct!
There’s a timing to life—a time and a place for everything.
There’s a natural flow that makes for smooth transitions.
And most of all…
There’s an energy to Everything—a reality to the way things fit together and become ready for the next stage in their evolution.
When the timing, flow, and energy are correct, life feels beautiful to me.
Serendipity arises.
Luck is inevitable.
Beauty is inherent.
And things just “feel” right.
But there’s so much pressure from the outside world to ignore the subtle cues of correctness.
To stand our ground—even on something as simple as timing—often requires “explaining” the seemingly inexplicable.
Finding the flow of magic, often asks us to step into the Unknown… be willing to live on the edge of our seats, not knowing what will happen (or if anything will happen at all).
Honoring the energy of each thing means being with things as they are, without trying to fix or change them (a nigh-impossible task for human beings).
And from everything I’ve seen… when we don’t do these things, breakdowns occur.
Even though my husband and I did all the things you’re “supposed to do”, like talking to our daughter about the transition for weeks and saying goodbye to the old bed, my sweet little girl cried through several nights, begging her crib to come back.
It breaks my heart to recognize deep inside that I didn’t feel into the timing or flow on this one.
I didn’t listen and trust myself.
I didn’t take the time to get present and See the choice we were making.
I only have one child… I will only have one child this life—and as a sentimental person, these milestones are so important to me. I had often thought about the moment my little one would transition to a big girl bed.
It did not look like this.
She was older in ALL my visions, excited to be free of the cage of her crib. Not tiny and longing once again for its safety.
I mourn for having ripped her from that womb before she was ready, but in that grief I notice—
And next time, I hope I will…
Honor my deep knowing of the timing of things, even if there’s no logical reason for it.
Trust that it will all come together, even when I don’t see how.
Be brave enough to stand up for my intuition in the world, even if it seems inconvenient (to me and/or others).
Take the time to check in energetically, to be aware of the reality transpiring all around me, even when it’s difficult or painful.
This was an amazing lesson for me—perhaps one that I had to learn the hard way.
When things began to go wrong, I knew immediately that I hadn’t listened to my intuition—that I had allowed myself to be rushed by convenience and the inability to explain why I thought we should wait.
Next time, I will stand up for what’s right… even if I don’t know why it’s right.
Have you ever experienced a time when you didn’t trust your intuition and things turned out terribly?
Did it help you remember the next time that situation came up?
Or maybe there was a time when you deeply trusted your intuition and everything came together magically?
What’s coming up for you?
I’d love to hear your stories—
Let’s keep bringing this community to life.
Vulnerable and vital,
Allysha Lavino
P.S. I can’t create community without you. Yes, YOU! Please take a moment to share a comment… doesn’t matter what it is—whatever’s coming up for you. Take the time. Be bold. Put yourself out there.
If not now, when? If not here, where?
This is the place to practice being the phenomenal, magical being you are!
P.P.S. It took us a while (and a few sleepless nights), but after facing our grief and doing some special prayers and magic where we called the beautiful energy that permeated her crib into the new toddler bed, Isabelle is now happily adjusted and sleeping very well in her big girl bed.
